So, Landen is almost 19 months, (tomorrow to be exact) and his 18 month period seemed to be quite a challenge for all of us. Let me just say this first, i love my son with ALL my heart and soul, and I would die for him, as any mother should do however he has been quite the whiny/crabby kid, especially these last 5 days. Sunday night he was so overly tired that he was screaming and crying for over 30 minutes, I had no idea what was wrong, there wasn't one thing I could do to make him feel better, and I yelled at him ( I know I feel super bad about that).We took him outside that night and put him in his swing and within 10 minutes he was sleeping. Trav layed him in his crib and I felt so bad for yelling at him I picked my baby out of his crib, layed him in my bed next to me and I just started balling. I actually cried myself to sleep.
That morning at 4AM he woke up screaming doing the same thing, nothing could soothe this kid, we gave him some Motrin and after a few minutes he was content with some milk and sat in my lap on the couch and fell back asleep. That day (Monday) he had a great day at daycare. Tuesday was good, Wednesday was good but this morning, man oh man.
After his bath he was acting like he was all done and wanted to get out of the tub, as soon as I grabbed him he started kicking and screaming and throwing the biggest fit EVER! I am so tired of these tantrums (I know...I know... they are just beginning and not over yet) so I take him in his room to get him dressed and he is still screaming/crying, and at this point I'm pretty sure he wants his NUK but I don't want to give it to him b/c he doesn't really need it.
So I force him to lay down so I can put his diaper on, still kicking, screaming, and crying and trying to get away from me. I am HOLDING him down. He is so out of control at this point that his body is arched and I am so incredibly irritated that I grab his thighs and flip him back over and try to keep him there, of course I had to use a little force (not enough to hurt him) to get him to lay there, and of course it scared him, so his crying turned into him trying to catch his breathe.
I feel like THEE WORST MOMMY, without a doubt. After I pick him up, give into his crying and get him his nuk, we cuddle on the couch, he's crying, I'm crying and I feel like I just am not good at what I am doing. The worst feeling is knowing that I frightened my child, and those were absolutely not my intentions. Urgh.... I just hate seeing him act like that and I hope that it gets better soon and that he still loves me.
3 comments:
You are sooo not a bad parent - the crying with NO solution is enough to put you over the edge!! The good news is soon he will be able to tell you what's wrong - and they grow out of the unconsolable stage!!! It will get better - and dude Mommy is the HARDEST job ever! He won't even remember you yelled at him! (til he's THREE - then they 'member EVERYTHING!)
and funny - i don't think i have an accent at all! hehehehe
Oh - sad!!! Don't cry!!!! if you need reassurance look at YOUR blog! Landon looks happy and sweet and IN LOVE with you!!! His eyes say it all - when he looks at the camera and knows you are watching!!!! Get some sleep and if you can't get some LUNESTA!!!
I think it is sheer exhaution! you have been on the go a lot doing all sorts of fun stuff!
I'm Jennisa's boss...fyi (hee hee)
The good news: Every single mommy has "those" moments, so you are certainly NOT alone in your feelings. My son is 5 1/2 now, but ever since he was 3, he freaks out every time I have to trim his fingernails...I'm talking...major tantrum fits!! I'm thinking..."this is nuts and I am losing my temper over this!". The same thing when I have to shampoo his hair....he can really make me sooo mad at him. The truth: We love our children, but we can still get mad at them, just as they can get mad at us when we have "our moments". What a beautiful boy and I'm sure you're loved very much in return!!!
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